In a few days I'll be 36 years old..heres the rub...I'm 36 years old and I have no kids. The more I age, the more I'm reminded that I don't have kids yet. Its not that I planned to not have kids, on the contrary, I planned to have kids after I wrapped up college at 30 years old. I literally spent my entire 20's in college, 3 degrees later, a decade older, the stork never showed up. The "butt naked" truth is that in all of my 36 years living on this earth I only tried to have a child ONE time. Thinking back on that experience now, I'm glad that never transpired. Nevertheless, that doesn't stop me from fantasizing about warm milk bottles, and little onesies.
Every time I think about having kids I create excuses in my mind..which sound something like, "you know kids are expensive, don't you want a bigger place to stay first, shouldn't my partner and I save a bit more money, what about home schooling...etc? Yet, people have been having kids for millennia and making it look easy lol. I've always admired people who were bold enough to bring kids into this earth; I'm impressed by good parents (like my own), who go the extra mile for their children. There is SO much pressure (still) on women to have kids, and let me tell you, now that I'm mid 30's there is a slight twinge of "Oh Lord when?" The answer: Whenever, I am ready, whenever my partner is ready, whenever the universe is ready to BLESS.
As I stare into the twilight of my 30's I hear my womb say...Peace...be...still...soon come.
I say the same to ALL women just like me, wether you've been trying or not to conceive. Peace....Be....Still....